Chasing the Fionist Dream

As you know, we are all about long-term financial planning in this blog. We are huge proponents of managing our money rather than having it manage us. That said, while most of us will make it to old age, this past tragic year has taught us that nothing in life is guaranteed. For this reason, we believe that every adult should be capable of every life skill – be it cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or managing money. You don’t have to be amazing at every one of those things, but you should know how to do them and should make sure to get a chance to brush up on them every now and then. In our relationship, Finn does most of the baking, sponja, and active money management, while I do most of the weekday cooking, school pickup, and taking the dog for long walks. But each of us knows how to do all of the household chores – at least at a basic level – despite them not being our strong suits.

Recently, we’ve seen several “Letter to my wife” tutorial posts floating around the internet, written by various financial experts – both Israeli and international. The goal of these letters is to be helpful, laying out the financials in an easy-to-understand way so their poor wife (because it’s always the wife) can wrap her pretty little head around the family finances for the very first time, while she is deep in shock and mourning after his untimely death. If you haven’t guessed by my tone, I find these letters sexist and tone-deaf. Just like sponja or grocery shopping, money management is a life skill. The idea of money experts teaching the masses how to manage their money but leaving their own spouse in financial darkness honestly baffles my mind. This is 2024, not the 1950s. Money management is for everyone, not just men.

Ladies – and gentlemen – but more often this applies to ladies, you deserve to be financially literate. It is your right. As an equal partner in your relationship, you should know your combined net worth, how much debt you have, how much money you both bring in and where it’s going (monthly spending, debt repayment, savings, and investments). Equally importantly, you should have an equal say in where it goes. No financial decision should be made in your household without your understanding and agreement. As the old saying goes, two heads are better than one.

Here is our list of financial things you should know and understand now – as an equal partner in your relationship.

1. Your bank account(s) and credit cards. Know where they are. Know how to log into them online. Do you recognize all of the charges? Do you have any overdraft?
   
   
2. Both partners’ pension plans and kranot hishtalmut (if you have them). What companies are they with? Know how to access them online.
   
   
3. Your personal investment accounts. This includes any kupot gemel l’hashka’a, stocks, bonds, ETFs or index funds, keren kaspit, savings plans for kids, or any other investments. Know where they are, how to access them, and how to invest – or pull – money.
   
   
4. Health insurance. Kupat cholim and private insurance if you have it. Know where everyone is registered and know how to access it.
   
   
5. Life insurance. This includes the life insurance you may have for the purposes of your mortgage and any other life insurance. Know where it is.
   
   
6. Mortgage and other loans – if you have one. Overdraft and credit card debt are both incredibly expensive loans. Know where the loan is from, about how much is left, and how to access it online.
   
   
7. Wills. Know where the wills are and how to access them.

You don’t need to know all of this by heart, but you should have a shared Google doc or sheet with all of this information. Make a point of logging into all of these at least once so you recognize it, and then make a habit of checking your bank account and investments periodically. Schedule a monthly or quarterly meeting with your spouse to check in and make sure you both understand what’s going on. Then you can brainstorm together how to move forward.

While this may sound intimidating, it is important. Break it down into manageable bite-sized chunks and get it done. Knowledge is power. Together you and your partner can achieve anything. You got this. 💪

Who manages the money in your household? Do you know your numbers?

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