Chasing the Fionist Dream

It’s official! With our youngest finally toilet-trained and starting public nursery school this week, we no longer have a baby in the house. Mazal tov to us! While it is bittersweet thinking about how our baby isn’t a baby anymore, we’re looking forward to all of the big kid things in our future – including no naps, no diapers, not having to pay daycare tuition and as a result, increasing our savings rate. 💪

At this momentous occasion, we want to look back, remember the baby snuggles, the milestones, the good times and those sleepless nights, and send strength, courage and love to all of the parents-to-be and new parents who read our blog. You got this. ❤ You really do. And as our gift to you, we want to tell you about all of the expensive baby items people will tell you to buy, but we did just fine without.

1. Baby clothes. The vast majority of our baby clothes up until age 3 were free hand-me-downs that we passed on to others when our babies grew out of them. Babies don’t care what they’re wearing and grow out of their clothes before you can blink. Check your neighborhood free swap groups and check with families you know. People are always giving away baby clothes.
   
   
2. Bassinet. Your baby will fit into a bassinet for a shockingly short time and you will have this thing taking up space in your house. Borrow one from a friend or from Yad Sarah.
   
   
3. Baby swing. We borrowed one from neighbors for our first baby. Didn’t have one for our second.
   
   
4. Wipe warmer. Our babies seemed to be fine with room temperature wipes. Do you warm your toilet paper before you use it?
   
   
5. Bottle warmer. Stick the bottle in a bowl of hot water for a minute or two. You’re welcome.
   
   
6. Diaper garbage. We threw all of our diapers into our regular kitchen garbage. If anything was particularly stinky, we could tie it into a doggy poop bag if we wanted to. With diapers, that garbage got taken out at least every other day anyway.
   
   
7. Bottle sterilizer. We stuck them in boiling water. Though once our babies started licking the floor, we stopped bothering to sterilize the bottles.
   
   
8. Diaper bag. We used a backpack that we already had. Works better when you don’t have a car.
   
   
9. A real crib. We bought a לול (playpen) to keep on hand for our first born and then she slept so well in it we never bought a real crib. Used it for her brother too.
   
   
10. Changing table. We had a nice changing pad that we put down on the table or floor whenever we needed it. What tiny Israeli apartment has space for a dedicated changing table?
    
    
11. Standing baby bathtub. We bathed our tiny babies in a baby bath chair the kitchen sink. Once they outgrew that, we bathed our first baby in the bathtub (in our old apartment), and since we don’t have a bathtub in our current apartment, we bought a 50 shekel tub that fits in our shower – that our kids still use.
    
    
12. Baby food. We briefly made our own with our first and froze it in ice cube trays. Then we transitioned more toward baby-led weaning and never pureed baby food again.
    
    
13. Fancy highchair. They take up space and the padded ones are really hard to clean. We love our foldable booster seat. We can easily fold it up and hide it away so we still keep it on hand for guests.
    
    
14. Walker. Babies learn to walk better without them. Plus the ones they can’t get out of on their own are dangerous.
    
    
15. Baby laundry detergent. Babies have a higher chance of having sensitive skin, so if yours does, by all means – buy the baby detergent. After realizing that our firstborn had no averse reaction to clothes accidentally thrown in with ours, we stopped doing dedicated baby laundry cycles.
    
    
16. Lots of new toys. Buy your baby the fanciest new toy and she’s bound to have more fun playing with the box. That’s just how kids are. Just like baby clothes, people are always giving away baby toys. Buy some special personalized toys and books if they will be special to you, but your kids will enjoy preloved toys just as much.

Of course, while most baby items work just as well second (or third or fourth, etc.) hand, there are a few necessary high quality things we believe you should not skimp on and should buy new, or at least make sure they are excellent quality. Things you should invest in (there’s that word again), especially if you are planning on having more than one kid.

So what are those things? What should I buy?

1. Car seat. This is the #1 thing we recommend you buy new. Car seat quality erodes over time (which is why they have expiration dates) and car seats can get damaged (in ways you can’t see) if they are in a car crash. Don’t buy a car seat without knowing its history. Buy new if you can, and buy a car seat even if you don’t have a car. There are lighter, easy-to-install models that are recommended for people without cars. You may want to rent a car periodically, and while it is not legally required to use a car seat in cabs, they have no more protection than a private car has in the event of a collision.
   
   
2. Baby formula, new BPA-free bottles, and new bottle brushes. If your baby will not be 100% breastfed, make sure that your feeding equipment is new, clean, and safe. Never try to make your own homemade baby formula. The FDA-approved commercial stuff is the next best thing to breastmilk.
   
   
3. A high quality electric double pump (if you choose to pump). It will save you time, discomfort, and hassle. You can often get your kupat cholim to help pay for this. We also loved the Haakaa (or a clone), which is inexpensive and collects extra drips of milk when breastfeeding.
   
   
4. High quality front/back baby carrier. We were incredibly fortunate to be gifted a new Lillebaby carrier from a family member when our first was born, but we see the value in buying one for yourself if baby carrying is your thing – especially if you don’t have a car, need to be going up and down steps regularly – or go hiking.
   
   
5. A durable stroller that fits your needs. We learned this the hard way. We never wanted to shell out the money and ended up going between multiple cheapy and second hand strollers, none of which we really loved. Between our two kids, we ended up using a total of five different strollers. Especially if you don’t have a car, buy the good stroller. And make sure it doesn’t get stolen (like our second stroller).

Conclusion
Babies are expensive. But like everything else, there are ways to bring costs down. As a general rule of thumb, if your baby will use the item for less than six months, try to find a way to borrow, buy second hand or make due without. Babies grow fast, and before you know it, that toy or whole wardrobe will be outgrown and just taking up space in your home. Take advantage of this period when your kid doesn’t know or care what everyone else has. It won’t last long. 🌱